Purpose and relevance

Do we really need both?

This week, I explored a question stimulated by previous posts and discussion: What matters most, having a purpose or feeling relevant?

I wondered if feeling relevant is more superficial and thereby less important. Now I see the comparison differently because of how both themes evolve through our lives.

Purpose arises first, relevance later

Having a purpose often increases in importance as adults reach their 30s and 40s. The typical mid-life crisis years when we sense a growing question about the meaning of our work and life. Was it really our own choice? Is it fulfilling? What else might I have done? Does it matter in society? (Have I achieved what I hoped or wished?) Would I choose it again?

A lot is written on the topic of finding your purpose. I’ve also facilitated many workshops related to it. We didn’t talk directly about relevance then.

Relevance arises later, maybe too much later.

What I learned in my last role, in which I had to look squarely at the later stages of life, is that it might actually be that we give up too easily on, or don’t believe our own instincts about, staying relevant. What I mean by feeling relevant = experiencing a sense that one matters, is valued or is needed within their surroundings.

Something seems to happen as we get closer to the accepted retirement age. We say things like “I cannot be bothered to learn new xxx” or worse “I am too old to yyy.” We find fewer people our own age around us with whom to discuss the latest trend, technology, etc., if we are not using it on a job.

I would suggest, though, that if we developed the mindset in our 30s that we will want to stay relevant after retirement, we will already think differently. It is quite likely that we will have 30 years beyond age 50 during which we need to figure out what to do. Good to have this in mind when younger – stretch out that vision! You have a few iterations and reinventions to manage. (I recently heard someone speak at a longevity conference about our 3^rd and 4^th careers. People younger than me already look at careers, purpose and relevance differently. And earlier.)

Which one matters most? Both.

Having your own sense of purpose may potentially be deeper. It’s enduring, comes from inside you, aligns with what most matters in your life, with your values. I start to see feeling relevant as a sometimes undervalued complement to that. An enhancer to our lives and purpose.

Here, an overview of each and how they may impact each other:

What might we do differently over a whole lifetime?

As we get older – and want to stay connected, engaged socially in the world – we can become more proactive about relevance, in addition to our purpose. About how we guide our curiosity, our way of having an open conversation, of not setting our own self-limiting boundaries.

My own view about the potentially undervalued role of lifelong relevance evolved unexpectedly. At 56, I took my first role leading a tech company. A year or so earlier, it had occurred to me that I needed tech business experience to stay engaged in the world, relevant as a leader and current as a person. Then I got lucky because I said this thought aloud once to someone who could help make it happen. Even when it sounded crazy, given my age and background.

Now I am more aware that identifying options to evolve my sense of relevance over a whole lifetime can make a big difference. Starting already at a young age and ending at the end: What do I need to learn to stay relevant during the next five years and how might I learn it? What attracts me – personally or professionally?

Even if it is a crazy idea. If it gives a sense of energy, alongside a fear of impossibility. Especially if it aligns with my sense of purpose, it might be just be the right thing.

So it is good know it, say it aloud and see.

Notes

(1) ChatGPT5, 2025.10.01, web browser version. Answered my question about comparing relevance and purpose with a nice overview table, which I slightly edited. It then asked me if I would like to have this table in a visual overview. The result looked like a typical Atlassian JIRA template, which I recognized. Used here a simple table. Innovative design is not yet in this AI – this evolution my be one of the next themes I explore for my own relevance.

I also used Perplexity for an added comparison, plus information about how purpose and relevance evolve over a lifetime.