Being relevant

Does it matter, is it healthy, are we making our own choices?

Jill Allemang

Jul 24, 2025

We question our relevance from the time we are teenagers. Do we fit in? Are we cool the way we are? Then later as we reach higher ages, are we becoming less useful or important? Will we fall behind?

Let’s add to that the times we have questioned our previous choices, at least as I have experienced. Has anything I’ve done mattered? Has all of that effort of the last five years, 10 years, 50 years made a difference? The self-inquiry often arises at a time when something ends, maybe even because of a loss, or it grows gradually via inner unrest that finally bubbles to the surface.

Some of this sense of uncertainty we create ourselves via society structure. Let’s take retirement as an example. Even with demographics clearly changing to bring the majority population in many countries over the age of 50 – often a healthy and energetic 50 – we still treat retirement like a cliff over which we must jump at a defined age. In one leap, we lose our structure and sense of professional purpose.

As if that is somehow a good idea for a healthy human being.

We would not simply throw a child into the water for the first time and say “Swim!” Yet, we somehow accept “Retire!” at an age dictated by someone else as simply the way life goes. Really? Must it? Fine if that’s what we want, as we happily anticipated. Not sure we all start building our higher age visions early enough in process. You?

The good news is that we have a great deal of influence on our sense of relevance – at all ages. We stay relevant through our own proactive look at our purpose and structure. By staying interested. Defining our own sense of coolness. All with the underlying assumption that it will change over time. Expecting oneself to keep evolving. Through a whole lifetime. Seeing that as a positive.

One of my favorite questions to ask others, “Are you going to be one of those people who says I cannot handle new tech and have no interest to type with my thumbs?” Or are you going to accept, even embrace, that it is part of our lives like water, brings many great opportunities, and MAKE AN EFFORT to follow it?

In my recent work, I found it sometimes tiring to hear others say that old people don’t like tech. Well, of course some are more prepared than others. All of us struggle with the speed of changes and get annoyed when waiting for operating system updates. That’s how it is. It is our choice to deal. How important is staying current to you? What are you prepared to do? How openly will you explore?

We are the leaders of our own continuous curiosity.

When writing this post intended to introduce a view of “relevance” (not right or wrong, rather to stimulate ideas and input) — I decided to use an approach that I have nearly always found useful when trying to make decisions. I’m sure you’ve heard it. Rather than take the topic as a huge, world changing, existential question, back it down into the very tiniest of multiple, consecutive scopes. Write about those.

So this post is a tiny introduction. A little challenge to our assumptions. Next will come the specific points of purpose, structure and coolness. I’ve especially had fun exploring research (yes, research!) about what is “cool.” Combines growing maturity with having autonomy. Being timeless. That, to me, an intriguing goal.

There is so much that we, ourselves, can do to impact our lives. If not everything we sometimes wish.

So here we start with a foundation of how we matter as humans, as people, over a lifetime. On that basis we can build communities, products and our approach to the changing world. Nearly always better when exploring together.

See you in a week!